I am 36, which kinda sucks. Regret and envy are my constant companions, because I am a little, little man sometimes.
I am getting pushy because I’m 36 and I’ve done so little with my life. Yes. Whose fault is that? Yes, I know. Fuck you too.

Anyway, I am going to get pushy because I used to be afraid that I would offend someone (and somehow, they would take the key of happiness away from me.) Now, I realize how stupid I was. I was stupid and scared in this way for thirteen years. Its time for this to end.

• I am envious of someone who honestly had less talent than me, but a fine ass. I knew her in high school. She is going to be an anchor on Fox’s new business channel. I had way more promise than her, and I fucked it up (or, to properly place the blame, my depression fucked it up for me.)
• The other person I am envious of is a friend. He just got tenure at a University. Seeing how wonderful his life is now, I am deeply envious. I don’t hate him, and I think his ass is merely okay. So, perhaps this is a wake up call.
• Another person who I went to college with just became a Google multimillionaire. I am happy for him; I think he’s a great guy. But I burn with envy.

My goal? Well, I used to want to be a director (and with the advent of YouTube and the like, it is probably worth trying it again). Now, though, I want to have alot of money. I know: who doesn’t, right? A pretty shallow dream. However, I always liked math, and my goal is to understand Math of Finance well enough to do some trading and make bank.

My goal is $10 million. Once I get $10 million, I am putting Dominos and a few steakhouses on speeddial and buying a 42″ TV with cable because I am never working again. I may not ever jog again, either, but that remains to be seen.

The funny thing is, I know in my heart of hearts that I really don’t want the money. I just want power. I just want to be listened to, and given a little respect.

Unfortunately, my country has a problem in that it only respects people with money.

Wait a minute - is that my country’s problem? Or my problem? And what am I going to do about that?

You can’t escape the coverage of the Virgina Tech massacre in the media (I’m glad I can tune it out.)

I get the impression that he wanted the world to understand him, very badly. When I was his age, I felt the same way (sometimes I still do, really.)

Its not a good reason to blow anyone’s head off, although its too late for bromides like this now. I remember how lonely I was in college, though, and am not surprised he was starved for attention. I would have thought that a college in a non-urban setting (does Blacksburg, VA qualify) would have had few enough people where someone would have reached out to him. Maybe Blacksburg isn’t that kind of place. Is America?

At least a someone (be it a company or organization) should give me credit for not seeing the value in getting a PhD.

When I see articles like this and this, I wonder why it is that companies are asking for PhDs?

It indicates to me about the ignorance of a corporation and/or organization that requests a PhD when, in reality, many of the duties contained in the job don’t require any of skills that a PhD would have.

Is it just so the company can say ‘we’ve got a PhD working on this’, so that they are legitimize their endeavor?

I think that companies like GE, Google and Yahoo don’t understand what a PhD is.

A PhD means that you’re the world’s #1 expert in your one particular, very small area.

A person with a research Master’s Degree is as broadly educated as someone with a PhD, and had the intelligence not to give up 6 years of their lives. Is a PhD necessary to be a Product Manager? Can’t a good Bachelor’s degree holder create the same value? (This is meant rhetorically.)